love to have a beer with kevvie...

as i was reading the sunday papers, i couldn't help but think that this might actually help k-rudd win middle australia. my suspicions were confirmed by peter helliar's gags on rove last night.*

it seems to me like a win-win-win situation. not only do aussie blokes love a bloke who gets pissed and takes to a girlie bar, but aussie sheilas love it when he humbly apologises in an appropriately sheepish tone. i added the third win because inner-city pinkos like me might frown at his participation in stereotypical masculinist bullshit BUT are a) impressed to remember that he was representing australia at the u.n. and b) happy that in order to expose him, howard's dirt unit also had to implicate one of rupert's minions. in fact, this is so perfect, it could've [should've?] come from within the alp.

of course, it also helps that the god botherers have weighed in to say "that's cool, baby - we are sinners every one" [translation: he is still more christian than howard].


well played, kev, well played.


*gimme a break, i had to watch it as ryan adams was on. it was surprisingly sweet and funny actually. has rove changed? or is it me?

lazy bones

that's what my grandmother used to call me when i got out of bed after 8am. my grandparents were farmers, you see, and if you caught the nine o'clock bus into town [there were three buses a day], then you would leave with these words ringing in your ears:

"i don't know why you bother. you've already wasted half the day..."

i've been thinking about them alot lately. partly because i've been getting up very late, but also because my family history has become quite a contentious subject for me recently. i've not been very well, and this has led me to think [and begrudgingly talk] about my childhood, much of which was spent on my grandparents' farm.

so it's not been laziness [exactly] that's stopped me from posting. more like a slowing of thought. the impulse to observe and connect with folk has largely been satisfied by a daily browse through facebook [damn you, book of face, and all your blog-killing ways!] but other than that, i'm currently putting myself through an enforced break in transmission. and not just here.

you see, i'm trying to stop.

stop thinking, stop worrying, hating, cursing, sighing, dragging my heels, reading, writing, talking, watching - all the things i do instead of just...being. i'm trying to sit still for a little while. i'm not sure this will make sense, but i'm trying to slow down my thoughts to a stop for the first time ever.

it's hard.

but rest assured, i've had lots of silly ideas for posts while i've been away. i'll be getting back to it soon.

don't know what you got [til it's gone]*

after the ill-receipt of my recent cryptic youtube postage, i thought we'd return to a more conventional form of entertainment; another parlour game. this one was first tested out on my beloved hank during my first visit to brighton. along with arguing over the hotness of aaron pedersen [i'm in favour], watching alias with the sound turned off [so much funnier, and you can still make out the utter badness of garner's accents], running youtube searches like this:

family guy britney spears
family guy whitney houston
family guy liza minelli

and eating hoisin chicken, this game helped to pass the time admirably.


here we go. the premise of the game is that oftentimes we find something so heinous/boring/rubbish that we take it for granted, because lurking around the corner, in the shadows, waiting and watching, is its replacement WHICH IS INFINITELY MORE HEINOUS/BORING/RUBBISH.


to wit: axel whitehead. drove me crazy at the helm of video hits. then, right when he got interesting by flashing his wang on national television thus creating the impression of serious coke dependence HE WAS FIRED AND REPLACED BY SOME MINIONS OF THE DEVIL. ok, not really. and let me coda by saying that i see fuzzy around campus and [even on the show] she seems sweet as candy but for reals, she's not ready to host the hits. and as for the other guy. seriously. get him into surgery for a charisma bypass, stat. i miss axel...i really do.



more examples include:



malcolm fraser
recovery as hosted by dylan lewis
the glass house
britney's first husband
george bush senior
the smell of the tote before the smoking ban
bracksalicious




i'll think of some more...




p.s. on a separate but related note, i'm pretty sure that samuel johnson is the dirt ben mendelsohn. i mean that as a compliment.




*let the record show that the title of this game/post is in homage to cinderella and not joni mitchell. thank you.