oh, and...

no resistance

i hardly know what to say about such a magical night. when i think back on it, all i remember is looking around a room full of friends and feeling overwhelmed - bathed in warmth. or perhaps that was just the enormous amounts of alcohol coursing through my veins. nah...it was the love.

i hardly slept a wink on thursday night, like christmas eves of old, and the arrival of family from all over the country heightened the excitement. thank you all for making the trek - it was truly incredible to see new friends and old, gearing up, tearing up, tearing it up. it was everything we could've hoped for and you were the difference.

richard informed me at one point that we had assembled 18 bloggers at one event, and that this called for live-blogging to commence immediately. i think i agreed. then somebody played another cure song and we forgot about it. i think the final count was 20 [!], which was yet another reminder of the awesome gifts that have come to me through this here faulty laptop.

so...bonnie, elaine, ruby, mel, richard, dave mack, rach, fluffy, audrey, sherd, harpo, bros, doc, disco dan, sandor [i've missed someone] - thank you for your contribution to blogapalooza 07.

there was a permed mullet, sundry wigs, bare feet, smeared lipstick, tulle skirts, sequins, ruffles, two sailor's caps, a bikini, a cross earring, a bouquet, red fishnets, paisley, fake boobs, emo kids, tattoos, ruching, spike heels, drawn-on freckles, a velour tuxedo, a couple of corpse brides, jim beam in a can, a samurai sword and uma thurman.

i love youse all.

el laberinto del fauno

i always wanted to learn spanish. after seeing this movie, i think i finally will. pan's labyrinth is the english title of guillermo del toro's latest - he of the devil's backbone and hellboy.

this is one of the finest films i've seen. a very grown-up fairytale set in franco's spain, it centres on a little girl whose journey into a macabre fantasy world is intertwined with the genuine horrors of fascism playing out around her. it's a stellar example of magic realism; it's also as harrowing as it is touching. it's difficult to discuss without revealing too much, so if you've seen it too, don't leave any spoilers lying around.

i'll just say that i was deeply moved. the performances are flawless, as is the whole cinematic landscape - sound, light, score, cinematography, costumes, dialogue - i loved it all. the project is del toro's from the ground up. he created the story himself, and each character is fully realised, whether "real" or not.

i think the reason it's resonating with audiences now is because it asks what each person might do in an extraordinary situation. faced with a nebulous and uncertain enemy, in a time and place where the line between good and evil was hopelessly blurred, some people were willing to sacrifice everything for what they knew to be right. it's a beautiful thing but fuck it hurts to watch. that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.

good morning

it's not often you get up to read the paper on monday morning and FEEL THE LOVE.

first things first, i thoroughly endorse this decision on the part of ken west. i cringed my way through last year's big day out, at each sighting of an australian flag draped across a sweaty, sunburnt, white back.* i saw them being worn as sarongs by silly young girls, as capes paired with boardies for guys, and painted on faces a la cronulla throughout the day. if it was patriotism, it was brainless, but it was also menacing. i didn't see any non-anglo kids sporting the flag. why would they? it deliberately excludes them. or perhaps they show love of country in a more thoughtful way, who knows? so big ups to the big day out.

MY CONGRATULATIONS AND ENDLESS LOVE ALSO TO MAXINE MCKEW. this is good news. she's smart! she's pretty tough! she's pretty! she's on our side! it may be completely psychological but i think this could help. she has credibility and it appears as though she and kevin have a genuine affinity and shared belief, not just a business arrangement. i reckon this development will piss howard off no end. and if that's not good news, i dunno what is.

also, a begrudging nod in the general direction of his hairness, the former premier. he continues to say helpful things, a little late, but still.** the incarceration of david hicks is now a genuine political liability for the federal government. so, in the spirit of of michael moore, the dixie chicks and the pope:



"shame on you, mr howard, shame on you. and anytime you have malcolm fraser and jeff kennett against you, your time is up."



*okay, this might also have been cos the big day out last year was offensively commercial. and i may have cringed also due to my impending oldness and the impossible youngness of everyone else there. but the australian flag trend was positively shudder-making.
**i have to say though, jeff...you argue that australia has shown "no compassion, no understanding at all" towards mr hicks - you should think about where that compassion was when you were headkicking unions, and closing down schools and hospitals. i'm not ready to forgive you just yet, mister.

smile time

even on this uncomfortably hot friday afternoon, there is room for a little cheer.

i've been writing about this very thing in my thesis - the fact that if howard himself can be beaten, the liberal party may not survive [certainly not in any cohesive or meaningful way]. the state liberals are, without exception, well and truly in the wilderness. the public votes for howard at the federal level, not the party he represents. partly because they like labor to be in charge of their health and education [not their federal budget], but also because it's now difficult to know what the liberals actually stand for [after the purge of the wets and the concomitant ideological reconfiguration under howard]. this is the irony of howard's success - it has come at the expense of the health of his party, a party whose ideological foundations were anathema to him, so he destroyed them. after howard, as with menzies [for different reasons], it may fall apart.

so we hope. and we stick together. and we work a bit harder, knowing that we can win.

shame, amanda, shame

i propose we gather up all the most egregiously offensive, mind-explodingly ridiculous, out-and-out fucked statements we can find over the course of a year and at the end, we'll decide who is the most deserving of our odium.

okay?

i'll begin with my old mate, amanda.

you might know that DIMA recently sent a crack team to tamworth to help out the yokels with their "migrant problem". the tamworth mayor, james treloar, publicly stated that he didn't want sudanese refugees resettled in his town. his commentary on the character of sudanese refugees was disturbingly and openly racist. his apology was inadequate, to say the least ['oh, i'm sorry, did i say OUT LOUD that sudanese men will harrass white women and fail to find employment? i meant to be all racist and bigoted in my head whilst nodding and smiling!']. he has since agreed (under pressure) to allow five families to move in...






"look, i very much welcome the new decision to give it a go. i think australia does have a big heart, and you find a good portion of that in rural australia."


you vile creature.

grow up

if you have an addictive personality...i'm sorry.

this may now consume your every waking hour.

weird confession #1 [plus a free rant]

i love watching the tennis.

this is a 'weird' confession because i don't actually like the game. i just like the coverage, especially the australian open [despite my irrational hatred of johanna griggs*]. there's something about all the big stars being here, and the summeriness, and it not being cricket, and the strangely soothing sound of a match on in the background of whatever i'm doing.

i just watched carlos moya and james blake - nice. carlos won and now they have to play each other again in the first round of the open. i barracked for carlos today. i think it'll have to blake next time - he seems like such a doll.

ok, that's boring, i know. but cop this - todd woodbridge just greeted moya off the court with:

"carlos, you're like the eveready bunny! do you ever stop?"

now quite apart from the obvious fact that it's the energiser bunny, does anyone reckon carlos moya appreciates this particularly lame cultural reference? if he did, he wasn't letting on. he stared at woodbridge and then into the camera before embarking on a stock-standard victory speech that had nothing to do with battery-operated soft toys.



i just had to get that off my chest.



*i think it's the fake laughing-talking at the same time that drives me so crazy. you know the kind i mean? this is a difficult thing to describe in words. the worst offender is myf warhurst.

something[s] to celebrate in public life #5

big ups to the age for its refusal to let go of the david hicks issue. you can follow just some of the week's coverage here, here and here. it seems as though this is finally becoming a liability for howard. and whilst they should've noticed sooner, the australian public also appears to be sharing in the outrage and shame at one of our own being imprisoned for five years without charge. i don't care what they think he did. bring him home.

on a lighter note [there was just no segue there], apparently steph and toadie are in love. somehow i find that cheering and a tiny bit adorable. i must start watching neighbours again soon. if only i could stop my husband from watching brainless and offensive "current affairs" programs at that time. oh yes, that's right. i'm blowing the whistle.

the other thing i wanted to tell you is that the vast left-wing conspiracy is, in fact, finding expression where we least expect it. you know the one we keep hearing about? the rampant left-wing bias in the news? the despoiling of our children's brains in the public education system? the universities producing irresponsible research that rewrites our history as a bad, sad, tragic one?

actually, the most bolshie thing i've seen on television in ages is 9am with david and kim. i kid you not, these two are public money-loving, howard-hating, greenie, pinko lefties from way back. I LOVE THEM. look at the program for this week and tell me they're not fighting the good fight. i'm pretty much addicted. the only problem is, i have to amuse myself during the infomercials. but it's worth it.

that'll do for today. hope you're smiling. or at least smirking a little. hell, i just hope you're not in the foetal position bawling your eyes out. if you are, i recommend ryan adams. before you know it, you'll be saying 'oh, fuck up, sook!' and feeling tons better.

is the queen dead?*

tell me what y'all think about this.




*or just losing his shit?

animal house

last night, i kept my husband up very late with a new parlour game of my own devising. not that kind of parlour game, you understand, one that i may share with you now. it goes like this:



me: "honey, if you were an animal, what would you be?"

mr android: "what animal would i like to be? or what animal am i most like?"

me: "what animal are you most like, in terms of personality and more tenuously, looks?"

mr android: [muses for a while] "a wombat."

me: "that's very good! i was going to say baby elephant but wombat is much better, with your big round nose and burrowing away and wombat-coloured hair. this is fun."

mr android: "yes, it is fun. let's continue to play it for as long as you wish."*

me: [gaily] okay! i think i'm a lady lion, because my hair is yellow and i can be a great big bitch if any of my loved ones are threatened. i think they're pretty industrious, and also they look all soft and nice but are actually pretty scary."

mr android: "why do you get to be something so good? and i have to be a wombat?"

me: "you called yourself a wombat! i just agreed. alright, what do you think i am?"

mr android: "no, i think you're a lady lion too. or one of those little birds on the rhinoceros's back, because they're pretty and little and they're doing a good job. but the rhinoceros finds them annoying sometimes because he forgets that they're being helpful."

me: [thoughtful pause] "no, i think i'm definitely a lady-lion."



i then managed to think of an animal for just about everyone we know, so i want to see if you come up with the same ones as me. tobytoby can authenticate my selections, as he dutifully listened to all of them before falling asleep and snoring like a...well, sort of like a wombat.


which animal do you think you are?






*this was actually "yes, it would also be fun tomorrow, when i'm not trying to sleep."

happy campers

one for your dairies

by now you may have realised that the touted housewarming is actually a wedding party. there is a strong faction of support for variations on the theme of frat house/toga party but we must now be firm in our wish to see all of you dressed as a member of our bridal party. uncouth best man, sleazy uncle and desperate bridesmaid have already been mooted by various partygoers - of course, we would also be delighted to see a few brides and grooms in the mix. if you truly had your heart set on wearing a toga, knock yourself out [as long as you team it with some kind of wedding day accoutrement - perhaps a blue lacy garter?].

most of you will know this already, but we pushed the party back from the first weekend after doc arrived home, to the first weekend after bonnie arrives home, so here are the specs:

australia day [also frank's birthday]
our place, nice little street, ghetto of hate
afternoon/evening onwards...

send me an email if you don't know our address and i can give you some directions. we already have a goodly number of esteemed guests coming from interstate for the festivities, so i'd warmly and genuinely invite peeps like audrey, sherd and dear i am man i am you to take their trips to melbourne around the 26th. hey, it's a family affair.

oh, and a photo of new year's is forthcoming. even though my husband is apparently some kind of techno-shamanic genius, my laptop is still mine, piloted by me, and uploading has failed so far. stay tuned...

mrs android

well hello there.

firstly, i must extend apologies to the internet for the thoroughgoing neglect i have subjected it to in the past month or so. the first few days of withdrawal were hard and then it became fun and naughty to see how long i could not check emails for. last week it got hard again - i became desperate to read all my favourite blogs but things were kinda busy.

we got hitched, you see...

i promised my husband the scoop so you heard it first on the android. but i guess now it's my turn to fill you in on some of the bits and pieces.

about three months ago, we engaged ourselves [battleship style] and decided to elope. at home. this meant many conversations with loved ones WITHOUT mentioning our exciting plan. this was possibly the hardest thing of all. to all of you just finding out, please don't be mad. there were no guests and the day was perfect from start to finish. we're both ecstatic at the idea of celebrating with you all soon.

so, in november, after we lodged the intent to marry form [yes, i'm serious, bureaucracy is boring and unromantic], we called the registry office and found that they had one spot left on new year's eve at half past four. and so the date was set.

we told the folks when we went to brisbane, the news being met with varying degrees of joy, excitement and acceptance. the breakdown:

papa mskp - happy, marginally surprised, mostly unfazed
papa android - happy, very surprised, very excited
mama android - happy, surprised, excited, gutted that no enormous party/meaningful public ritual would be involved, slightly crotchety, very determined to change our minds about a big shebang, finally happy and warm and full of encouragement and support. phew.

about a week ago, we got a new frock for me and a new suit for the android. unfortunately, the nurse's and starfleet uniform idea was nixed due to the high possibility of breaking mama android's heart had we gone through with it. but i figure they can be the standard attire for celebrating anniversaries.

we got the tram into spring street on new year's eve. our witnesses were two nice young security guards for the office of premier and cabinet. we got our first official wedding photos taken in the black and white booth at flinders street station [will post some soon]. our wedding music included selections from the cure, the boss and the brat.

we got the tram home, drank beautiful champagne and ate cold chicken. we watched annie hall, welcomed the new year through a drunken haze of joy and love and confidence at what we'd just done, and fell asleep in our new bed in our new house with a new feeling of bliss.

is there anything else you need to know?

oh, love. LOVE. LOVE!