24 hours

about this time yesterday, i set out on my new bike to run some errands before coming home and working on a paper. little did i know that i would have such a wonderful day, full of surprises and good luck and love.

12ish - get to my department to sign some forms to do with the progress of my candidature. i have a smile and a laugh with the admin assistant. this is notable mainly because my interactions with the general staff are usually marked by fear and loathing, impatience and confusion, gritted teeth and sharp exhalations of breath [on both sides]. the theme is continued at the grad school, where i encounter breezy acceptance of my late forms and a cheery invitation to use the noticeboard for whatever personal crap i wish to post.* pretty good day so far.

2ish - have now been in the city for a while and found that my errands present no obstacles and that riding a bike around on a perfect spring day is a good reward for having a job that involves no money and limited respect. i talk to toby on the phone and am reminded of why i'm lucky to love and be loved by such a precious gem. i drop by the oxfam shop to see my friend lucy, to find that she knocks off soon and would like to accost me for lunch. excellent turn of events.

3ish - lucy and i have eaten nice food, drunk good coffee and are lazing away in degraves street, when we run into the baby doctor and his new boy.** we spend some time discussing vogue magazine, childhood obesity and the problems facing ngos, with two of the best looking gays in the whole world. doc gets excited relating his plan to cure the world by working in public health and i fall in love with him a little bit more.

4ish - doc runs away to sign the lease on his fabulous new deco apartment in east melbourne, leaving lucy and i to sit on the floor of the city library and peruse huge coffee table books about art. all the while a cute girl plays 'yesterday' on the public piano. i learn who felix gonzales-torres is and i remember how much i love bauhaus. i get a new library card from an adorable man called brann, who loves my gmail address and tells me that he hasn't voted in any election since 1975 because the dismissal marked the end of australian democracy. doc returns and we buy new accoutrements from route 66. we bid farewell to lucy and share a slurpee before biking up to trades hall.

6ish - we hit the launch of a fantastic new book, written and published by some friends of mine. the little history of australian trade unionism by sean scalmer, has been released by vulgar press at a timely moment in the current struggle for workers' rights.*** the launch is fantastic - affecting and sobering, funny and touching, moving and empowering. the table of doc, weelie, ruby, mel, the lady and myself, agree that a drinking game is in order. everyone must drink whenever there is a swear, and i have to drink each time the speaker says 'comrade' [which ended up being twice - wha happen?]. the rest of the signal words are: 'solidarity', 'industrial', 'movement', 'howard' and 'worker'. doc got the last one and was hit hardest. next time, we'll make sure someone has 'struggle'.

8ish - decamp for dinner at maivy [or mel's vee, as she likes to jest]. eat, among other things, whole baked flounder and duck and mushroom soup. yum.

11ish - ride home in the cool breeze. get online to send painfully romantic and slightly pathetic email to toby [wish you were here etc]. find belle on messenger, who tells me to disconnect so she can call me from glasgow.

1ish - hang up after a beautiful and sustaining and hilarious conversation with ma belle. by all accounts, sebastian is well too, and glasgow is becoming more magical by the day as snow approaches. i fall asleep feeling all is right with my world.

now, i had to extend this meditation to include this morning because i got up and went to north melbourne to collect something i had left in a restaurant last week. that's irrelevant. EXCEPT that i hardly EVER go to north melbourne and when i do i NEVER drive down chetwynd street. but today i did, and saw this little stray kitten wandering along. so i picked her up and gave her a lift and got to feel her sweetness in person before i leave tomorrow.

tomorrow, i'll be marching in SOLIDARITY, with WORKERS of the union MOVEMENT, to fight the INDUSTRIAL relations regressions that are hurting HOWARD. so, COMRADES, are you in?


*i pinned up a notice offering two spare rooms in the house i am vacating. if you know anyone who wants to live in a nice big rambling edwardian on sydney road, and doesn't mind a grubby and slightly disconcerting flatmate, let me know.
**yowzer.
***make sure you buy one from readings. only $9.95. worth every cent.

digs

so now that you've all been tantalised with the announcement, i'll give you the specs. the android and i will be staying in the hood [for the time being] and taking up residence in a gorgeous overpriced terrace. we will be keeping a lodger, who is quite small and hardly ever barks. the only problem is that he keeps furtively acquiring and eating the soap out of the bathroom. [mental note: if it even smells like food, frank will eat it]. we'll, of course, be having an enormous party to celebrate, to which you will surely be invited. it'll prolly be some time in the new year, as we are interstate men and women of mystery, and are hopelessly overbooked between now and christmas with jaunts to the twin cities of glamour and sophistication. more details as they become available but suffice to say...



THANK FUCKING CHRIST.*



*this is in no way a reference to the purported son of god.

so we got a house...

abracadabra

as my first movie recommendation was met with disapproval from some and jeers from others [mandalay, you know who you are...], i won't tell you to go and see the prestige. i will say that it's not a remake of a hong kong thriller, nor does anyone have their head shot off, and there's no opportunity whatsoever to reference team america whilst watching it. i still liked it though. i'm a little more circumspect in my praise this time.

things i realised whilst watching the prestige:

• hugh jackman is kind of beige to me - i don't really understand the hoop-la
• christian bale will always be patrick bateman in my eyes
• michael caine keeps getting better and better
• ditto david bowie
• i have a high threshold for the suspension of disbelief

it's quaint and adorable in some ways, boring and tedious in others. it has many plot twists though strangely not much suspense, and the big reveal is multi-dimensional and a bit yawn-y by the time you get there. but scarlett johansson is pleasingly bosom-heaving and the cinematography and score first-rate.

i didn't realise until today but seeing this movie was a nice companion volume to the exhibition i took in at acmi last week. on the man about town's recommendation, i visited eyes, lies and illusions, which i loved. loved, elaine, LOVED. it was a fantastical journey through the history of tricks, and it takes in everything from shadow puppets to folding diorama to holograms to anatomy. it's a reminder that the victorians were obsessed with that which can neither be seen nor understood - the exhibition is concerned with the historical as much as the artistic or performative. what we see is the multimedia of the nineteenth century. and a cool new installation where little painted man dance to thriller.

the stuff of "magic" rarely intrigues me as much as it might, but seeing both of these shows, and linking them in my brain, has got me thinking. which i do like.

monkey business

for your friday reading pleasure, i'm gonna share with you the blog of a charming friend of mine. he's just relocated his good self to malaysia, so he can care for cute orange guys in need. the borneo orangutan survival foundation [BOS] have scored the services of two melbourne vets through the australian youth ambassadors program, and one of them is the lovely tristan [t-rock]. i'll let you read all about their wacky adventures for yourselves but here's a sample of their work [complete with the original caption]:



I think this must be the cutest TB patient there is. If someone starts a Little Miss TB pageant I'll enter him for sure, we've already worked out his world peace speech and found some divine red heels.

keep up the good work, boys. and the rest of you, have a charmed weekend. i'm going to start mine off right by going to see teddy thompson in the city today. toodle-oo...x

the idiot box

you know the parlour game that asks what you would do if you had a million dollars? you know, what kind of business would you start or what big life change would you make if you could afford to? what daily activity would you like to make your living from? one that would require serious start-up capital - hence the million dollar question?

i would open a dvd/video emporium that only stocked television titles. i'd name it some variation of "the idiot box" and model it conceptually on the original trash video in brisbane. not the snazzy new west end model - the charmingly decrepit old one that used to be in the valley [before that part of town became thoroughly obnoxious]. i'm not saying i'd only stock cult tv [though i would also] but i would strive to create the same welcoming, enthusiastic, passionate, shambolic vibe that the original trash video had in droves. they actually do stock tons of non-cult items; they just make you stand in a section called MAINSTREAM to peruse them. cheeky buggers.

so for starters, i'd have 80s sitcoms up the wazoo - family ties, growing pains, who's the boss, gimme a break, the facts of life - lots of mini-series, documentaries, a HBO section, sci-fi, maybe an auteur section that could include david lynch, joss whedon etc, midday movies, game shows, bbc comedies, kids' shows - worzel gummidge, wombles, fraggle rock, astro boy, read all about it, hunter, degrassi, press gang [i realise that blockbuster brunswick WHICH I LOVE has many of these] - but the point would be a store devoted to television. unashamed to celebrate the inanity and brilliance that often go side by side on the small screen.

yeah.

dear martin scorsese,

congratulations on your new movie, the departed. i liked it very much. apparently, you are quite the competent director, so i shouldn't be surprised that it's rather good. here's how good:

• you completely rehabilitated leonardo dicaprio in my eyes
• you made me love marky mark just a little bit more [previously thought impossible]
• you gave the best lines to alec baldwin, who delivered them with aplomb
  
• you, characteristically, included one woman in the entire ensemble cast, whose role was one-dimensional and flaccid, requiring only the barest hint of acting, BUT SHE WAS VERY PRETTY
• you must have policed the boston accents assiduously, cos they were all perfect
  
• you made sure that pretty much everyone who died had their head shot open at close range
• you [self-]referenced the layla scene from goodfellas with soaring guitar licks laid over images of death and destruction [and revenge], thereby making me feel special for being able to recognise a scorsese trope
• you turned the all-american dreamboat, matt damon [MATT DAMON!] into a treacherous villain, thereby allowing him to flex his acting muscle
• you made such a good film, that despite matt damon appearing in nearly every scene, we had stopped whispering 'MATT DAMON" in a retarded team america voice by about ten minutes in
• you saved the sucker punch til the very end and boy, oh boy, did we love it

so thank you, martin scorsese, you're the goods. no more aviators or gangs of new york thank you very much. if you insist on putting dicaprio in every film, please continue to give him roles such as this one. one last quibble - you might also think about learning to love the women.

love,
mskp
x.

hoopleheads and cocksuckers

if you know what a hooplehead is, you probably already watch deadwood. if that word is a mystery to you, don't be dissuaded, just get your hands on season one dvds immediately. be prepared for the almost incessant use of the word cocksucker, some [never gratuitous] graphic violence and some pretty ugly sex scenes that rarely involve love of any kind. now put yourself in the mind of the sopranos on the american frontier, and you'll be ready to embrace one of the greatest television dramas of the modern era.

if you already know and love deadwood, here are some things you might not've known [i didn't til i spent hours of procrastinatory internerd time finding them]...





firstly, i was SURE that the same guy was playing francis woolcott as had played jack mccall. turns out, it IS the same actor but it appears to be a weird casting decision rather than a cool plot device [that might eventually have resulted in a big "reveal"]. ah well. there you go. just in case you were obsessing about it too [doubtful].





doc cochran is the moral compass of the show, as played by brad dourif - an actor with so many bizarre and wonderful credits to his name, i hardly know where to start. he was oscar nominated for his part in one flew over the cuckoo's nest, playing the tragic billy bibbit and looking completely adorable in this still.





here's what else - he played wormtongue in the lord of the rings, and starred in alien: resurrection, dune, and blue velvet. he was in the notorious heaven's gate, mississippi burning and star trek voyager. he guested on murder she wrote, moonlighting, miami vice, tales from the crypt and the x-files. HE IS ALSO THE VOICE OF CHUCKY IN ALL OF THE CHILD'S PLAY MOVIES. what a guy. love.






this is timothy olyphant [as seth bullock], who you may know as the skeezy drug dealer from go and sundry roles in various other teen/gay/crappy movies. his imdb profile says his favourite movie is dogma [!]. i think he looks like oh charlie. a little. on deadwood, he gets very angry. alot. and he has a particular way of walking that kind of cracks me up. he has also made me cry a few times with his man love for sol and bill, and his repressed lady love for alma.

the women of deadwood are a complicated bunch - literally damned whores or god's police. with the exception of calamity jane, who had me at hello. er, perhaps she had me at 'fuck you you fucken cocksucker'. especially wonderful are the interactions with her best mate, charlie fucken utter. suffice to say, she's a hard woman [with a soft centre]. here she is about to rip someone's head off...





scenes that she steals are by turns hilarious and touching, as she struggles with her feelings of inadequacy and impotence. the one thing she does in droves is care. oh, and drink cheap hooch. by the way, this is the actress who plays jane...





if you've seen her as jane, you might share my general feeling of YOWZER.

i might have more to say about the folks of deadwood another day, but in the meantime, get thee to jb hifi or a blockbuster. the fledgling town of deadwood is waiting to intrigue you...

the other america

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thank you.

garden state

who knew the garden state had produced such luminaries? after the last post, i got curious as to how many other gems had come out of new jersey and one of my first discoveries was the one and only...



top 5 reasons we love new jersey, in no particular order:

• jon stewart
• one of the most religiously and ethnically diverse states in the country
• considered one of the most liberal and progressive states in the nation
• ackowledged as having one of the best public education systems in the united states
• in national elections the state leans heavily towards the national democratic party

are you feeling the love for new jersey yet? they also lay good eggs. so now, for your procrastinatory pleasure, i present the precious peeps of the garden state, as rated by me to be worthy of inclusion.




































and, *sigh*, your boss and mine...





you might have noticed that even though they were my first favourite band, i haven't included any pictures of jon bon jovi, lest i earn the derision of my peers and appear uncool.

bye then, hope your weekend holds untold happiness. i reckon mine will [one more sleep]...

amerika

i'm thinking of making this a weekly segment. all the mind-bending things i hear about america over the course of seven days. the last week has pulled me very tight, so i've been neglecting these pages. but i realised that so many of the things that pique my interest, for good or ill, emanate from those united states.

it must be said that i have intense feelings about america, many of them incredibly positive. seriously. few countries intrigue me more for their potential and power and genuine accomplishment. this was a glorious project, and one that has occasionally inspired in me a kind of vicarious patriotism and certainly a nostalgia for something i never lost. the example of america [moreso before the twentieth century, though we sometimes forget they kicked some goals in the last hundred years, too] is one reason i still have faith in nationalism as a force for good. i'm an americophile. which is why watching it come such a cropper is breaking my heart.

so the first instalment of 'eye on amerika' contains information that is overwhelmingly sad and not a little angry-making. i hope that as i continue, i can find things that speak to the other america.* the one that was envisioned and cherished by those who fought for it. the one that was imagined by walt whitman, and longed for by allen ginsberg, and eulogised by bob dylan, and avenged by bill hicks. there is gold in them there hills. remember that more than half the american voting public said no to bush. twice.

michael j. fox does something gutsy and pro-active and quite frankly, fucking excellent. he is immediately accused of faking his symptoms and politicising his illness. by rush limbaugh. um, yeah. cos politicising medical procedures like, ooh, um, abortion, or euthanasia, never happens. if i ever met rush limbaugh, i'd probably point out that fucks like him corrupt the public thinking on the science, so that medical research relies on its perception in the media to continue. or something like that. obviously, i'd also punch him in the cock.

black democrats are the new black. only problem is, if you're obscenely good looking, bonnie and i just objectify you and stare at your picture all day long....ahem. i meant to say, if you're only very good looking, the stick to beat you with will be your [invented] reputation as a "playboy". who says playboy anymore? honestly. it's like lothario. or doobie.

i officially hate this show. i actually watched an entire episode because it's written by david mamet and i was labouring under the illusion that it might not be spurious, propagandistic, terrifically offensive claptrap. it is.

bush continues his campaign against [homo] pole-smokers and [lesbino] carpet-munchers and in the great tradition of loony american leaders throughout the ages, declares another war on a concept. this time, it's personal. and political. it's war on gay marriage. no news here. but it's worth noting that he got his knickers in a knot because new jersey disagrees. ah, noo joyzee, not only did you give us bruce springsteen, zach braff, and bon jovi, but you go into bat for the gays. we'll even forgive you for tara reid.

and finally, i saw a preview screening of fast food nation last week. bloody hell. i've read the book, and found the dramatisation of it a little unsatisfying but it reminded of why eric schlosser is so good. he's not a vegetarian. he's not saying 'don't eat meat' or even 'don't eat fast food'. he's saying 'if your meat-tastic treat is under five bucks, have a think about where it came from. who was exploited so you could get it so cheap? who works in the abattoirs? who served it to you? and what's in it?'. the story of fast food in america is like a many-headed hydra. take your pick: animal cruelty, environmental destruction, impact on local economies, agricultural industries, industrial rights, illegal workers, safe food practices, advertising directly to children, obesity, poverty, nutrition, the aesthetics of the built environment and heritage preservation. purveyors of fast food have literally changed the cultural and physical landscape. and they tell lies.

that about does it. we'll talk again soon. in the meantime, don't forget about that other america.








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*did y'all hear about "the other australia" from martin flanagan? good egg, him.